Searching for words is something that you all know is generally not a trait of mine but since Thursday it has become that.Even those closest friends of mine(and you know who you are) might be somewhat surprised that my Privates went quiet. I suppose I just wanted to respect your privacy in sad times and let you deal with it in your own way. I know my friends well.This site is no different..Having said that I think we are all in the same boat..Everyone is afraid to lay their thoughts out on the table as it might would be looked at as bad taste..You might feel like screaming out with anger but know you can't,you might feel like posting something fun and upbeat but feel it is not the time,and so on...SO...Where does that leave us...IN SILENCE...I understand this totally but think we do have the right to be open with others and discuss...I really think we need to lay it out there...our fears about her future,our fears about her last few years,our hopes and predictions about her future,was the Don't video her message...Personally I think it is time to do what we do best...Discuss,lay out tasteful thoughts. If you are beat up with the whole thing..discuss it....I really think this silent sadness is not a healthy thing..I know it is hard but really think we need it...Some more than others...There are so many things that I wonder about but don't have answers...What I do know is we have a brilliant team with lots of stuff racing through silent minds right now...Personally I think it is time..I totally understand if there are no replys...If your reply simply..Bob...Shut the hell up...Thats OK...But lets start talking.. Bob
DON'T....Give me the chance to say I AM SORRY...Don't give up on ME...These words haunt me...Many woman who say these words feel THEY are to blame when things go sour..NOTE...I am making this as a general statement. A big part of me feels that because Shania being Shania , she felt that she could fix anything..Because she saw troubles it concerns me that she is taking the whole thing as a personal failure and not a failure as a couple.. That video as we all know came late and if you believe the problems already existed at the time...Well sorry...I think it was a cry for forgiveness...Again,I am not suggesting she did anything wrong but it is killing me to think that she feels she did..Living with guilt every time she looks into eja's eyes...This posting is killing me and I understand it might be bringing members down..BUT..We have to get these thoughts out on the floor in order to move forward...If nobody replys..I understand but maybe I need to say this...Maybe Bob (the talker) needs to be talked to by you guys..For those who feel they have it in them to lay out your heart...Not just the..."it is so sad lines" I would love to hear from you..Respectfully...Bob
We don't know the details and never really will, since it is between only 2 people. I'm sure she is depressed, maybe angry and sad and I think of her song I'm not always the rock that you see. She is probably full of self doubt and unsure about her future, BUT she is a smart, talented, strong , beautiful woman and with time, I'm sure she is going to be fine. I just wish we could let her know that her fans are behind her and wish her strength to get through this. Her music helped me through my own divorce. I think for me,her songs helped me to forgive my x and to realize that we had grown apart. I was slow to see this and did not want to accept it. Her music honestly helped me to heal. I realized that this can happen to you no matter who you are, it is a very difficult thing.
Bob, I think you may very well be right that Shania is taking this as personal failure and not that as a couple. She puts so much effort and dedication into doing what's right for all the special people in her world. She's probably thinking I could have done this or I could have done that to make it work or be fixed. Shania must be made to realize it was not her fault, she did what she could, she is a trooper in that respect and the man she loved and devoted herself to in every possible aspect and compromise. Mutt may just have a problem that he grows bored of his situation over time and lets go. Seems it was the same way with his previous marriages. Lets face it, this is not his first marriage, and he has had a similar ending to each. He stays with a woman a certain amount of time, uses up all the good moments, and then loses interest. That's just terrible. He doesn't stay committed to the relationship although he goes on to prefer friendship, just like his spouses before. They all still claim to love him, but in a different way and not as a partner for life. A working relationship. I hope he realizes what a foolish mistake "growing apart' from someone so dear as Eilleen is.
The song and video for DONT really hurts to comprehend right now. The moment Shania sheds a tear really pulls at me right now, back then I thought of it as "artsy" being draw into the emotion of the lyrics, but now it all has real meaning. So sad. I only pray that Mutt changes his mind and if not, then all I can say is Shania must live the lyrics of "Nah."
Stay strong Shania, for your own sake and health, but that of Eja too.
I can't help but believe the song Don't was a refection of their marriage too. I see Shania as being devasted because to her family is everything. Like you said Bob, Shania is a fixer. and she would have tried to keep her family together no matter what. I really hope she is not blaming herself as well. I can't help but think what happens now. Is mutt going to want custody of Eja because of Shania's touring? Have they got one cd left (the one they have been working on). Mutt has been thru divorce court twice he knows what to expect. Shania does not have this experience. I really hope it is not a messy divorce. My prayers are with Shania and Eja and Mutt too. The whole thing is terrible. I just can't shake this thought that it is Mutt who wants the divorce. I know it is being judgemental but I cannot shake this thought.
If they do indeed stay apart and the marriage is fully over, I can't even image Shania being single again. Will she stay alone, move back to her family in Canada? She has no one in Switzerland or New Zealand. She's been so cut off and isolated and made all the compromises to Mutt. Would she be able to date again? That thought just leaves me ill, I thought she was going to stay married for life, I believed it to the fullest and thought there would be no others guys, why would there be other guys, she found her man. Now what? I feel so bad for her. The rag mags will probably have a field day, trying to get juicy gossip. Shania didn't deserve this. There will be a lot of guys who would like to pursue after Shania, she is still a very desirable lady at 42 in so many ways, she's a terrific, bright, talented and beautiful woman, I hope she just tells these guys "never mind I have better things to do and finer things in life to keep me fulfilled."
Shania will raise Eja well and she will do more for charity I'm sure of.
I can't help but believe the song Don't was a refection of their marriage too. I see Shania as being devasted because to her family is everything. Like you said Bob, Shania is a fixer. and she would have tried to keep her family together no matter what. I really hope she is not blaming herself as well. I can't help but think what happens now. Is mutt going to want custody of Eja because of Shania's touring? Have they got one cd left (the one they have been working on). Mutt has been thru divorce court twice he knows what to expect. Shania does not have this experience. I really hope it is not a messy divorce. My prayers are with Shania and Eja and Mutt too. The whole thing is terrible. I just can't shake this thought that it is Mutt who wants the divorce. I know it is being judgemental but I cannot shake this thought.
I can't help but have those same thoughts too lulu. We know Shania is committed and devoted, and wouldn't quit easily. Just how much Mutt truly is, knowing he has two similar breakups, is a big question.
I mentioned( in privates) this morning about mutts rights in law..Assuming there is joint custody and Shania wins it ,Mutt has the right to reasonable access to Eja...Having to travel to Canada would never be deemed reasonable by any court..She now would be literally locked out of Canada(residence wise) because if this clause..Again..She will have council and unless mutt waives his right to custody I can not help but feel that her advice would be to put her carreer on the backburner in risk of losing Eja as well. In fairness if this got messy and mutt goes after eja I would have to agree that if she plays the carreer card in court she may VERY WELL LOSE...She would never chance that...FOLKS...I think we are maybe approaching close to permanent sabbatical if mutt goes for custody..You can spin this issue in your mind to make yourself feel that I am wrong and this could never happen...Bottom line...IT CAN Reality on this site can no longer be dismissed...Doing so would be unrealistic...Her music could be over...FOREVER
So nice to have a good woman behind you...Cindy just pointed out something vital..She knows I am worried sick about Eja..Sure we are all bumbed but try to imagine this site if she ever lost a custody battle..Cindy pointed out that Mutt, do his easy to prove hermit issue could never be granted custody..No access to social development,cousins, his age,history of repeat patterns(woman wise)...I think I am just working myself into a bit of a frenzy...I think Cindy is right...She would win...In a cakewalk.
By the way Tommy...Can't help but feel as a moderator you must be facing some of your toughest decisions you have ever had to face. I am talking about how long a leash to give us as far as our comments..I have to admit I would have one hellish decision in trying to decide if I were in your shoes...Freedom of speech VS depressed fan passion, which will turn to angry fans if this whole thing turns messy. How much you can give us...I don't know but I sure wouldn't have to call it...Bob
Lets just hope for the best my friends. A good friendship like Mutt has with his exs so that Eja can have both parents, a strong mother and hopefully a strong daddy.
It's just sad that the warm loving home Shania always described she wanted to keep Eja raised in is now broken.
Hey Joe...I respect what you are saying but I don't see it...If this guy has walked on her due to boredom which is what you indicated in your awesome posting then I hope the hell she does nothing more than do what is needed to coordinate what time he is picking up Eja.. As far as a working relationship..C'mon..You can't believe or even want her to ride mutts back for the sake of a CD...If what you have indicated is true and she has been dumped like a couch that you got sick of the colour then... personally I want NO part of any Mutt/Shania product...Personally it sickens me to even think of it and personally I think it would her as well. If this was a mutual slip...Fairgame...BUT if this is the ripping up of a womans heart and soul then WOW...Bob
Hey guys, Bob thanks for being discreet,i was really in a bad shape,i l'm still sad but not that much as the first day. you know me well enough to have figured out that i was totally shocked by the news,just the thought of shania being devastated breaks my heart,i can't even imagine how shania herself might feeling.
some fans elsewhere are saying that this situation was going on for at least a year,now if that's true WHY on earth they were building their N.Zealand house?? btw this board is the most emotional of all,but heck we are mad and sad about what have happened. i hate watching good people getting hurt,i hate divorces,i hate when little kids have to be in a divorce,i just hate all that's happening right now. im trying to convince myself ,that their split was mutual,although it is hard to do,because of the way shania used to talk about Mutt. ok Bob,lets just remove all of his pictures,but what if it turns out that was shania's fault?? well,most of us think that Mutt is the one to blame because of his past,but we should respect at least the fact that he's Eja's dad,and he will always be a part of shania's life as her ex. maybe we should keep our bashing only for our private messages,hey don't get me wrong,if we find out that he was the one that refused to give their marriage a try,then i wiil hate the guy.
oh man,i can't listen to YSTO without getting emotional,i can't look at shania's old pics wearing her wedding ring with that huge rock,what an irony. i must admit that shania in her latest appearances(starlight promotion,ACM's)was looked kinda cold,she had a different look in her eyes,it was because her heart was breaking inside,but yet she managed to appeared in public without anyone notice,well that shows how strong woman is. if she shows up in the Red Cross gala,then we are ok,but i gotta see her smile at least for once. Bob,you are right she might feeling responsible for haven't tried enough,because she is who she is,a woman that took huge responsibilities in a young age,a woman that worked her butt of to make a great career,a woman who hurt her back just to please her fans. a woman who left family and friends to live in Europe just to please the man she loved. all these sacrifices shows a woman that commits and focus to the family,but all we know about Mutt is that he left his 2nd wife for no particular reason,and she was devastated, as people close to Mutt have said. we re just fans and we can only guess from what we have,we weren't inside their home,but the indications show us that shania,even if it was mutual,she is in pain. how can you end a 14 year old marriage,without any pain,all those memories,imagine how shania would feel if while she's driving her car the radio should play You're Still The One'. i wonder could shania have been so wrong,how COME she failed to read between the lines,well i guess, as she once said,when you love someone you do everything to please them. i guess she thought ,why on earth he would ever leave her,besides he's 59,but i guess sometimes as a great song says(Bob you should be familiar with) 'SOMETIMES LOVE JUST AIN'T ENOUGH'.
Lets just pray,and wish for the Lange-Twain family the best.
__________________
Forgive any misspellings,English's not my mother tongue.
Hey Christina..Sorry for the quick reply..Your comments derserve much more than that.. You know that you know me better than anyone on this site from are many conversations..You know I won't say I think you are right when I think you are wrong...I understand that you don't want to accept the fact that this is something that has been going on for a while..Christina the Don't video..You know it was her cry..Watch it again..The words,her emotion. Christina..I really think you are wrong here...I wish you weren't but you know I won't B.S. you.....As far as your words on Mutt I admitted that I was soft on this but to totally ignored it on this issue I would suggest is a bit of lack of repect to Shania... Bobbo
Yes, they are good words tina. I can't watch her you tube interviews now because in all of them she talks about her love for Mutt and in one of the british interviews she said "if anything were to happen to mutt or eja that would be the end of me" How I hope this separation is mutual but I just can't shake this feeling that it is not. I will feel better if she goes to the Swiss Gala. So many decisions for her now coming up. How to divide Shania/Mutt holdings, properties, how to work out custody. Hopefully just hopefully things will get sorted out in good faith. Heaven forbid it should be a nasty divorce.
I was going to wait but can't ..How the hell did you know that..Now you are freaking ME out...I always knew not to understimate you...Pretty soon you are going to be telling me you love.... waiting in the weeds..Funny how "August" is referred to in that new masterpiece... Funny how music can say so many things..Call me a dreamer but listening to Henleys words in this ballad gave me hope that Shania has someone waiting in the weeds for her and she don't even know it yet.As a matter of fact when he performs this new song at the concert I will think of her as well
Hey Linda, shania is Mutt's 3rd wife,he divorced his second(a former model)around late or middle 80s because she wanted kids,as he was always in the studio working,a friend of that couple said that she was left devastated because she adored him.
__________________
Forgive any misspellings,English's not my mother tongue.
Hey Joe...I respect what you are saying but I don't see it...If this guy has walked on her due to boredom which is what you indicated in your awesome posting then I hope the hell she does nothing more than do what is needed to coordinate what time he is picking up Eja.. As far as a working relationship..C'mon..You can't believe or even want her to ride mutts back for the sake of a CD...If what you have indicated is true and she has been dumped like a couch that you got sick of the colour then... personally I want NO part of any Mutt/Shania product...Personally it sickens me to even think of it and personally I think it would her as well. If this was a mutual slip...Fairgame...BUT if this is the ripping up of a womans heart and soul then WOW...Bob
I hear ya Bob. As far as that goes, i agree, Shania shouldn't forgive and foget if he did her wrong by what I described eariler in this thread. That is Mutt though I believe. He still has a working relationship with Stevie Vann his first wife. She also was included on the project with Shania and Mutt for the song "Shoes" Remember that?
I don't think I'd be comfortable with another Shania Mutt product if he did do her wrong. Only if it is indeed mutual and they stay friends, but even then it just doesn't seem right. Why can they work on music together but not on marriage? Makes no sense. All those love songs and inspiration pieces they wrote I have trouble listening to the same way knowing now compared to what I hear when they were in love. This is tragic.
Hey guys, Bob thanks for being discreet,i was really in a bad shape,i l'm still sad but not that much as the first day. you know me well enough to have figured out that i was totally shocked by the news,just the thought of shania being devastated breaks my heart,i can't even imagine how shania herself might feeling.
some fans elsewhere are saying that this situation was going on for at least a year,now if that's true WHY on earth they were building their N.Zealand house?? btw this board is the most emotional of all,but heck we are mad and sad about what have happened. i hate watching good people getting hurt,i hate divorces,i hate when little kids have to be in a divorce,i just hate all that's happening right now. im trying to convince myself ,that their split was mutual,although it is hard to do,because of the way shania used to talk about Mutt. ok Bob,lets just remove all of his pictures,but what if it turns out that was shania's fault?? well,most of us think that Mutt is the one to blame because of his past,but we should respect at least the fact that he's Eja's dad,and he will always be a part of shania's life as her ex. maybe we should keep our bashing only for our private messages,hey don't get me wrong,if we find out that he was the one that refused to give their marriage a try,then i wiil hate the guy.
oh man,i can't listen to YSTO without getting emotional,i can't look at shania's old pics wearing her wedding ring with that huge rock,what an irony. i must admit that shania in her latest appearances(starlight promotion,ACM's)was looked kinda cold,she had a different look in her eyes,it was because her heart was breaking inside,but yet she managed to appeared in public without anyone notice,well that shows how strong woman is. if she shows up in the Red Cross gala,then we are ok,but i gotta see her smile at least for once. Bob,you are right she might feeling responsible for haven't tried enough,because she is who she is,a woman that took huge responsibilities in a young age,a woman that worked her butt of to make a great career,a woman who hurt her back just to please her fans. a woman who left family and friends to live in Europe just to please the man she loved. all these sacrifices shows a woman that commits and focus to the family,but all we know about Mutt is that he left his 2nd wife for no particular reason,and she was devastated, as people close to Mutt have said. we re just fans and we can only guess from what we have,we weren't inside their home,but the indications show us that shania,even if it was mutual,she is in pain. how can you end a 14 year old marriage,without any pain,all those memories,imagine how shania would feel if while she's driving her car the radio should play You're Still The One'. i wonder could shania have been so wrong,how COME she failed to read between the lines,well i guess, as she once said,when you love someone you do everything to please them. i guess she thought ,why on earth he would ever leave her,besides he's 59,but i guess sometimes as a great song says(Bob you should be familiar with) 'SOMETIMES LOVE JUST AIN'T ENOUGH'.
Lets just pray,and wish for the Lange-Twain family the best.
Indeed Bob, these are beautiful words by Christina. God bless and do keep praying guys.
Hey Linda, shania is Mutt's 3rd wife,he divorced his second(a former model)around late or middle 80s because she wanted kids,as he was always in the studio working,a friend of that couple said that she was left devastated because she adored him.
Yup, married first to someone he knew from childhood. Marries a second time to a model who wanted to settle down and have kids, which was not his muse of choice at the time. If that wasn't enough, sees Shania walking the beaches in "What Made You Say That" and just had to meet Shania. Marries her six months later and at least she was able to convince him to have a kid. Shania was in love, but I wish she gave more time to make absolutely sure about this guy. His past and all that, sometimes it use to make me wonder. But I believed in it, Shania did, so I did too. She's a woman who should be greatly appreciated for all she does and gives and treated like a Queen.
I think this site has even more of a purpose. Everyone banding together to back the star that has meant so much to us through her music. You read countless messages of what her music has done for people and what her example of living has meant to people.One letter even said that she saved them from suicide. How many battered woman has she helped get up off their knees and find courage to leave a hopeless situation. How many children has she helped not be hungry at school like she was. I hope that she realizes how important and special that she is. I'm sorry she has suffered from low self esteem. She has no reason to feel that way. Not the country critics, not the scandal magazines, not even Mutt should make her feel bad. She gave her all to the marriage, her husband and her child and even kept her career on a path. What did he do?? She can't change him or the way he acts.She was blinded by her love for him. She deserves better, I hope she stays close to her family. She doesn't need money, she could even adopt more children on her own. My prayers are with her tonight.
So well said Linda. I agree, Shania being a "fixer" I am sure put everything into fixing her marriage. For her to suddenly take off and leave really gives credit to the "affair" so to speak. I know Shania will get thru this for the sake of her child. You are right she has uplifted millions in spirit with her music and all her good works speak for themselves as you so beautifully described them. I hope this site continues as a tribute to Shania.
